Boost Your Self-Esteem With These 10 Tips!

If you feel like you can't achieve the things you want to, and your try as hard as you can but always fail, you may just need a kick start for your self-esteem. Things 10 little pieces advice will get you away from the feelings that you are not good enough.

Believe it or not, your health can suffer alot just from negative thinking. Without realizing it, you may limit yourself from the possibilities and opportunities you would be living through by not taking as many risks. Some people doubt themselves because of their past mistakes and are afraid they will make mistakes again if they try.

Your brain is the tool you have used to make yourself feel like this, and it is the very thing you need to bring your spirits back up. Stop thinking negatively, and simply follow the advice in these 10 tips to be on your way to living a happier, more satisfying life.



1. Don't compare yourself to others. Most people will only realize when someone is better than them (or so they think), and you probably won't compare youself to them in a positive way. Instead, compare yourself to your own personal standards, and compare to how you have been in the past.

2. Don't think so negatively! Other people will undoubtable pick on you and put you down... so then why should you do it to yourself? Don't listen to the negative things people say, and certainly don't think hem yourself. Also, don't look at your mistakes as failures. Learn from them and to better next time.

3. Confirm the positive things that you think about yourself. This is basically the opposite of no 2. If you can can thinking to yourself about the negative phrases then you can certainly program your minds to just think of positive things. You are already in the mindset of thinking about something over and over. Now all you need to do is change that something to something positive!

4. Accept compliments from others. Don't just ignore the person. If you ignore them then it gives the messege that you feel as if you are not worthy of the compliment and it shows low self-esteem. Also, people will be less likely to compliment you if you don't graciously accept them.

5. Take advantage of and use websites, life coaching programs, workshops, books on how to raise your self esteem and develop a more positive attitude. There are so many things now that will help you to shape your body and mind to however you want it. There are so many different things that are out there to help you. By reading this article you are taking a step in the right direction. Continuing to look for help is a great way to solve any problem.

6. Spend your time with poistive, supportive people. Ever hear the saying, "If you lay down with dogs you'll come up with fleas" The people that you hang out with do have an influence on you. Why would you want to be around people that are always negative and criticizing things? Supportive people will give you positive ideas, and they will help you raise your self-esteem. If others feel good about you, you will feel better about yourself, and you will feel better about people in general. Developing a network of caring will is a great way to raise self-esteem.

7. Acknowledge your good qualities and the things you can do well. Many people with low self-esteem think that they aren't good at anything or that they are not as good as someone else at the things that they can do. Everyone has excellent qualities, and maybe you just need to discover them. Or if you really don't know what you are good as, ask others to help you. I guarentee they will find tons of skills that you completely forgot about.

8. Don't put up with more than you can handle! Everyone has a limit that they can't go past. Sometimes people with low self esteem are trying to tolerate more than they can handle. Find out what things you are making yourself put up with and try to just cut those things out of your life. Not voicing or acknowledging your needs will only stress you out more, and when you can't accomplish everything it will only lower your self-esteem.

9. Help others. Now, don't do to much for other people and start doing for them what they should be doing for themselves. But when you do something positive for someone else you make them fell better, make them feel better about you, and you will probably notice that you feel better about yourself. You will feel a lot more valuable which will raise your self worth and self-esteem much more than you would probaly think.

10. Do things that you love. If you enjoy something, do it. Don't let someone tell you it is a waste of your time or that it is pointless. Many people who have low self-esteem have stopped doing what they loved to do. Many people constantly say how much they hate their job. If you are one of those people, why not look to change your job? I am not saying to immediately change career paths, but at least take some leisure timne for the activities that you once loved.
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Do You Have A High Achievement Motive?

Obviously, some people are more hardworking than others. This can be seen in the lazy couch potatoes and busy workaholics. But what gives someone the drive and motivation to work hard? Well, according to psychologists like Jon Krakauer the Achievement Motive is just another trait gained through heredity.

The Achievement Motive is defined as the need to outperform others, conquer difficult challenges, and obtain high standards.

Here's a little test to help you find where you fall on the achievement motive scale.

Write a little story for what you think is happening in this picture. It does not have to be long, but the more you write the more you will be able to tell if you get more achievement arousal or affiliation arousal.

This is called a TAT test (Thematic Apperception Test). It has been used for a long time and is widely used because it is supposed to bring out a person's unconscious, hidden motives, and repressed feelings.

So let's look at what you wrote about. You either fall into one of these two categories.

Achievement Motive

You feel the need to overcome challenges and outperform other people.
Here's what your story might sound like:

Joe is a musician who has been trying for years to make money and become famous. He practices on his guitar every day in an attempt to be the best musician he can possibly be. One day he enters a contest. He is very nervous but he still plays well and thinks of how happy he will be if he wins. In the end, Joe loses and he is very sad.

Affiliation Motive

You need to associate with others and maintain some sort of social bonds. These are the people people, the people who love to chat and just like being with others. Instead of winning a noble prize or tackling challenges, these people would rather find companionship, love, and friendships.

Here's what the story of a person with a high need for affiliation might sound like:

Joe is a very lonely musician. He plays his guitar every day in an attempt that people will stop and listen to him. Some days he even makes friends with the people that stop to watch him. The man in the background is one of his only friends. This man is the owner of the store, and he let's Joe play his guitar outside. Joe is sad that his family abandoned him. He uses music to escape from the world.

Here are two different stories. Compare the one you wrote to these two. Did you write about challenges and winning or people and social interactions? Of course, being completely one or the other is really ideal. Most people are a mix of these two. With that said, I'm sure not many people are exactly 50/50. It's always good to know what side you lean towards.

Anyone can benefit from learning their strengths.*

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Overcoming Shyness

Being shy is not a bad thing. It's fine if you need time to feel comfortable with new people and situations. Some people though, would like to be more sociable, and these tips will help you become more outgoing. An very important part of overcoming shyness is having confidence. For tips on Building Confidence check out this post.

1. Begin with friends and family. It Is much easier to tackle your shyness by starting small with people you know. When talking or interacting with people focus on your eye contact, positive body language, small chats, and questions. Start with people who you feel comfortable around and slowly work your way up to everyone. Remember to smile and show people that you enjoy talking to them.

2. Increase your assertiveness. Sometimes shy people can be too wary of other people’s feelings and don’t want to cause controversy. This does not mean they're wimpy or cowardly. But it may how assertive, or in this case not assertive, they are. Assertive means that you can speak up for yourself when you should, you can ask for what you want or need, and you can tell people when they are getting out of line.

3. Have per-made starters for conversations. The hardest part of talking to someone is most of the time how to start. Thinking of openers, like introducing yourself ("Hi, I'm James, we are in the have History class"), complimenting the person ("That shirt looks really good on you"), or asking them question ("Do you know when our report is due?"). It is a lot easier to approach someone if you have things in your head to say so that you don’t walk up to someone and panic!

4. Practice what you are going to say. You may be avoiding something because of your shyness. This is a great time to try a phone call or going up and talking to someone. Must like the last tip of having a starter, write down the rest of the conversation too so that you will be prepared with what you are going to say. Then say it to yourself out loud. Then go for it and if it is not the way you practiced don’t worry about it, just keep going. Remember, everyone gets nervous and stressed at times. Be confident only means hiding this nervousness and not letting it interfere with what you are doing. Then it will seem even easier next time because you will have already done it once.

5. Be Yourself! You want to make friends with people who share interests in the same things as you. It’s fine if it takes time for you to get to know people, but don’t be scared to go talk to people. A lot of shy people worry about what people will think about them or how people will judge them. Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying. Some people are too hard on themselves. Think if you’d be so critical if it was your best friend. Some people would be much more accepting of their friend, and if you are then just try to be less serious and disciplinary towards yourself. Think of yourself as your own best friend. Say and do whatever fits you and your style. Being the real you is what makes you noticed and attracts friends.

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The TRUTH about Marijuana

Marijuana is the center of one of the hottest debates in psychology, medicine, politics, pretty much everywhere. Everyone has their own opinions about marijuana and it seems everyone has their own data and statistics proving their side is correct. It is the most popular and widely used drug in America, and many people argue how harmful, if at all, this drug really is.

Well, sadly, the truth is we really don't know what affect marijuana has on the brain.

I know what side I'm on when it come to marijuana arguments, but I'm not trying to force my ideas on you. All I want to do is give you some true facts and let you decide.

Does Marijuana cause respiratory problems?
Many people have heard crazy things like a joint of marijuana hurts your lungs as much as 50 cigarettes. Obviously this is an exaggeration, but really any kind of smoke that enters your lungs will have negative effects on your lungs and/or throat. Therefore, even if marijuana does not affect the brain heavy use would still be discouraged because of the damage it does to a person's lungs.

Does Marijuana weaken your immune system?
Studies have been done on this with animals, and theoretically cannabis could slightly suppress the body's immune system. However, when studies were done the data found that smokers did not catch substantially more infectious diseases than nonsmokers. Although this does complete wipe the idea that marijuana has an effect on the immune system, research has shown that the amount of influence it has is minimal and probably not enough to base any strong argument on.

Does Marijuana really have negative long-term effects on the brain and cognitive functioning? Obviously, smoking cannabis has a negative effect on attention, cognitive ability, judgment, and a whole list of other mental activities. But is this a permanant effect or does it just wear off? Well, it is very unlikely that marijuana could have no affect on the brain. The question is whether the effects are prominent enough to really make a difference in a person's thought and thinking. The Yurhelun-Todd experiment tested 3 different groups; those that did not smoke, short term smokers (only smoked for about a week or a few days), and heavy users. The results on the Auditory Verbal Learning Test they were given seemed to be consistent with popular belief. The marijuana-free subjects did the best, although the short term smokers scored only about 5% lower. However, the heavy users' scores were way lower, about 15%. This does prove that marijuana can have a big impact on learnig. Intrestingly, however, after the heavy users stopped smoking for about a month the deficits vanished!

These back and forth results seem to favor both sides, and it seems that since marijuana is already seen by siciety as harmful, it would have to be proven as harmless for people to accept it. As you can see from the results, this will be extremely difficult, and instead of trying to persuade others what to think, make a decision for yourself and do what you feel is right.

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Setting Goals

Maybe you find that you never really accomplish the things that you plan to. It is important to make your goals challenging, but not too hard that you never succeed. Here are some tips for goal setting.

Bumps in the road do not mean failure. Mistakes and doing things wrong are part of learning. Building experience will make you a better person, and it will teach you things that will actually help you in life. It's ok to try a few times before you reach a goal. It's perfectly normal to make mistakes. Really there's something wrong if you can do everything on your first try. Remember to always keep trying and to learn from your mistakes.

Make your goals realistic and specific. Make your goal doable. Failing to reach a goal will only crush your dreams, make you feel worthless, and reduce your drive toward that goal. Don't set goals that you don't think you can accomplish. Also, try to break up something that will take a long time to do. Instead of saying, "I want to lose 40 pounds" you can say, "I want to lose 8 pounds a month". Also be more specific with your goals. Don't just make you goal helping the environment. Make an effort to recycle and carpool as much as possible in order to help the environment.

Keep reminding yourself of a goal. This may seem silly, but you really can train your brain to do something. By saying out loud and writing your goals you want to achieve, you will reinforce this. You are then sort of subcosciously motivating yourself. Every morning when I look
in the mirror I say what I've done well and what I need to change. Day by day I try to improve something. I'm not sure who say this, but it's a great quote. "Perfection can never be obtained, but reaching for it will only bring you closer."

Don't expect change immediately. Everything takes time to change. No matter what you are trying to improve in your life, whether it is waking up earlier to exercise or quitting cigarettes, you will need to give it a chance. Don't expect to see instant results. The bigger changes will usually need more time to get used to. Keep at what your trying and don't give up because usually where you want to be is just around the corner.

Do it for yourself, not someone else. I always hear people saying that you need to find "your passion" and get a job about it. This is very true. You need to find within yourself the drive to do something. You need the desire to do something, and don't let a friend, boss, or someone else try to tell you what to do (Of course I'm talking about when you're not on the job. When you are getting paid your boss can make you do anything). However, you should choose a job that you enjoy doing what your boss wants you to do because your motivating yourself is a lot stronger than someone else trying to push you.

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Sad or Depressed? Here Are Some Solutions

Depression takes over a majority of people at some point in the each person's life. Whether a family member died or you have been fired from your job, sadness is a common, natural feeling. Though everyone feels sad, most people can bounce back and go on with their life after a short period of time.

Depression is sadness that you can't seem to get out of. You feel sad all of the time and cannot enjoy the fun and happiness that you used to.

• Recognize troubles, but don't obsess over them. Think about why you are sad and what events lead to your sadness. I know everyone says this, but it really can help to talk to someone about the things that make you sad. Then once you get over them try to focus your energy on things that make you happy. Give the sad things their deserved notice, and then push them out of the way so you can think about better things.
• Do something creative and fun. Depression can have a negative effect on a person's creativity and fun levels. Try to paint, draw, write a song, or dance. Scientists have shown that creativity and happiness is linked. Did you ever get that surge of happiness when you thought of a new way to do something? Though people don't know if creativity makes you happy or if being happy makes you more creative, most people agree there is a correlation between them.
  
  Do something fun. Hang out with a friend that is funny. Watch your favorite movie that always make you laugh, or read a funny book. The expression "time flies when you're having fun" means that when you are doing something fun, that is the only thing that matters to you at the time. When you are depressed, doing something fun can make you forget about the bad things and remember how much you like to laugh.
• Eat right. A lot of times depression can affect how people eat. Actually, many psychologists look for this when they suspect a person to be depressed. If you feel sad watch what you are eating with more care. Some people overeat, and some seem to starve themselves. Getting proper nourishment in food and vitamins can increase energy levels and happiness.
• Get exercise. Even as little as half an hour a day can make a difference. Although you probably won't feel like being active when you are depressed, making yourself go for a walk, ride a bike, or play a sport can really bring up your mood. Moving around will also increase the endorphins in your brain. Endorphins are chemicals in your brain that control happiness
  
  Also, yoga and meditation can do the same as exercise. Meditating, breathing exercises, or acupuncture are used by people all over the world to increase happiness and get away from the world to relax.
• Look at yourself as a leader. A lot of the articles on this site link back to confidence. Confidence is the key to overcoming many things. Have faith that even though you are sad you are still strong, and that you can push yourself through whatever is happening to you at the moment. Try to stay positive and hope for the best, but don't be disappointed when something less than perfect happens (because it probably will)

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Overcoming Peer Pressure (In Adults too)

Peer Pressure is a very concerning topic when talking about children, but can peer pressure also apply to adults? Sure it can. Some adults succumb to peer pressure without even knowing it. So, are you influenced by peer pressure?

What is Peer Pressure Again?

When you hear the phrase "peer pressure" you probably think of a 16-year-old trying to get his friend to drink or do drugs. But actually, this is a very narrow view on the huge spectrum of peer pressure.

All the people you spend time with influences you. You learn from them and they learn from you.

Therefore, all peer pressure is not necessarily bad. But some people do give in to bad advice. So, here are some ways to protect yourself against the influence of others.

• Prepare yourself for situations. If you think someone might try to pressure you into doing something, think of a argument or excuse ahead of time. Try to predict all the possible things the person will say so that you can have comebacks ready. This is similar to what a lawyer does to prepare himself for the other attorney's attacks.
• Think of yourself as a leader. One reason people give in to others is because they don't have enough confidence in themselves. You have to think of yourself as just as good as that person, and your ideas are even better than theirs. You can also take a look at this article about Building Self Confidence .
• Stall. This might seem like a lame tip, but it can really be affective sometimes. When a person asks you to do something, say, "Not right now" or "Maybe later". Sometimes they might just give up asking you altogether.
• Don't do things you know will hurt other people. You don't have to confront other people in your group. Just say something like, "Let's not do this" or suggest another thing to do instead.

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Reversible Figures

Here are some reversible figures for you to look at. Each of these pictures can be interpreted as two different pictures. Enter away message text here.



Rabbit or a Duck?




Normal Set of Stairs or Upside Down Stairs ?






Ahh seen this one before?




Also a popular one. Old Woman or Young Woman?

So why do people see things differently?

Well, what you see in a reversible figure is all about perception. This shows that any one person's experience in the world is extremely subjective. Any one thing or event can mean radically different things to different people.

Interestingly, what a person perceives can seemingly easily be manipulated. One way of doing this is by controlling a person's expectations. Try it out yourself. Taking the first picture, if you saw a rabbit first try get a family member or someone near you to come look at it. But, say, "Hey come look at this weird rabbit" Then see if they see it as a rabbit or duck first. Usually, the person will see it as what you tell them it is (Although they will probably figure it out since the context of the post is all about reversible figures)

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3 Types of Intelligence

IQ tests have a pretty big meaning in culture today. People have seemed to correlate scores on an IQ test with general intelligence or a predictor of success. This view overestimates the amount that an IQ test can measure. Most IQ tests only asses the academic/verbal intelligence of a person. There are also, according to the well known psychologist Robert Sternberg, 2 more types of intelligence; practical and social. Here is an explanation for each type of intelligence.

Verbal Intelligence

People who are verbally intelligent are very good speakers and writers. Usually, these people are the ones that score highly on IQ tests. They are usually quick readers and can comprehend an article exceptionally well. Interestingly, these people seem to be experts in a particular field. These people enjoy learning about a specific subject and seem to throw out information they do not find interesting or helpful.
Teachers, television hosts, politicians who give very good speeches should all have high verbal intelligence.

Practical Intelligence

People who have a high practical intelligence are the creative problem solvers of the world. They can see all different sides os a problem and come up with the best solution. I say best because there are probably many solutions to everyday problems, the someone with practical intelligence will be able to determine the most efficient way to accomplish something. These people tend to make good decisions and are usually much better at math than reading or writing.
Scientists, engineers, and mathematicians usually have very high practical intelligence.

Social Intelligence

Someone with a lot of social intelligence has a social conscience and is considerate of others. They will accept other people for who they are. They usually think about the consequences before they do something, and always keep others in mind. People with high social intelligence are fun to be around and get along with others well. These people also can sense others feelings better. For example, they will know when another person is sad or if something is bothering them. Really any job where you deal with other people, such as cahier or salesperson, would be a good job choice for a person high in social intelligence.

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Reasoning Traps

Do you think that when you try to reason the correct answer that you are really thinking logically? Do you always make the best decisions? Here are some Common traps people fall into when reasoning.

The Gambler's Fallacy

If you have a coin and flip it 7 times, and it came out tails every time is there more of a chance it will come out a certain way on the next flip?

Some people would say it would be more likely to come out heads. Since the ratio of heads to tails it 1:1, the 7 tails would need to be balanced out by 7 heads so it is
more probable that heads will come out.

Wrong!

Every flip is independent of any other. Therefore, every time you flip the coin there is an equal chance of it landing on heads or tails. It is true that eventually the flips will end up 50/50, but probability cannot be applied to any single event. Probability is only intended on predicting a string of flips and not each individual flip.

The Law of Small Numbers

A subject reaches into a pot and grabs out 4 green beans and 1 red bean. Then the beans are put back and a second person grabs 23 green beans and 15 red beads. Both conclude that there are more green beans in the pot, but which one has better evidence?

Most people would conclude that the first person has better evidence because the ratio of green to red beans that he pulled was 4 : 1. This would suggest there are more green beans, but the odds of having more green in the second example are much higher. Since the second person's sample is so much larger, there is much less of the chance factor involved.

Small numbers have a much greater chance of giving misleading and not accurate results.

Most people see that large samples are better, but few really understand how much results in small numbers can vary and be unrepresentative. This belief in small numbers also explains why people generalize things after only experiencing a few cases.

Predicting the Improbable

Which causes more deaths?

Accident falls or gun accidents?
Tuberculosis or floods?
Suicide or murder?
Asthma or tornadoes?

Actually, the first answer in each of these pairs causes more deaths. Don't feel bad if you got some of these wrong. People frequently tend to overestimate the improbable. If has been shown that people seem to predict these events higher because they are dramatic and get high media coverage, although they are very infrequent. Fatalities from disease on the other hand, tend to be underestimated. Interestingly, many researchers believe that people overestimate these high media things because they are fresh in people's memory from reading about them or seeing them on the news.

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