Overcoming Shyness

Being shy is not a bad thing. It's fine if you need time to feel comfortable with new people and situations. Some people though, would like to be more sociable, and these tips will help you become more outgoing. An very important part of overcoming shyness is having confidence. For tips on Building Confidence check out this post.

1. Begin with friends and family. It Is much easier to tackle your shyness by starting small with people you know. When talking or interacting with people focus on your eye contact, positive body language, small chats, and questions. Start with people who you feel comfortable around and slowly work your way up to everyone. Remember to smile and show people that you enjoy talking to them.

2. Increase your assertiveness. Sometimes shy people can be too wary of other people’s feelings and don’t want to cause controversy. This does not mean they're wimpy or cowardly. But it may how assertive, or in this case not assertive, they are. Assertive means that you can speak up for yourself when you should, you can ask for what you want or need, and you can tell people when they are getting out of line.

3. Have per-made starters for conversations. The hardest part of talking to someone is most of the time how to start. Thinking of openers, like introducing yourself ("Hi, I'm James, we are in the have History class"), complimenting the person ("That shirt looks really good on you"), or asking them question ("Do you know when our report is due?"). It is a lot easier to approach someone if you have things in your head to say so that you don’t walk up to someone and panic!

4. Practice what you are going to say. You may be avoiding something because of your shyness. This is a great time to try a phone call or going up and talking to someone. Must like the last tip of having a starter, write down the rest of the conversation too so that you will be prepared with what you are going to say. Then say it to yourself out loud. Then go for it and if it is not the way you practiced don’t worry about it, just keep going. Remember, everyone gets nervous and stressed at times. Be confident only means hiding this nervousness and not letting it interfere with what you are doing. Then it will seem even easier next time because you will have already done it once.

5. Be Yourself! You want to make friends with people who share interests in the same things as you. It’s fine if it takes time for you to get to know people, but don’t be scared to go talk to people. A lot of shy people worry about what people will think about them or how people will judge them. Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying. Some people are too hard on themselves. Think if you’d be so critical if it was your best friend. Some people would be much more accepting of their friend, and if you are then just try to be less serious and disciplinary towards yourself. Think of yourself as your own best friend. Say and do whatever fits you and your style. Being the real you is what makes you noticed and attracts friends.